You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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