Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
