Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize