I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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