im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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