And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
