I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
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