Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
