I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
