Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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