i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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