i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
