God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
