i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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