Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
