Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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