WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
