Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
