My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize