remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
should my penis look like a turkey
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
