two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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