I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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