even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
