You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
