I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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