if i can run in heels then i can drive
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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