he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
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I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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