just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
