I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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