I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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