Need sex. Gaining weight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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