we made out on top of his cat.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
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St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
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We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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