hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Randomize
