She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
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I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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