goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
