he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
