You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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