chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
