Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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