i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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