You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
