he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
MIDGETS
????
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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