we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
