let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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