Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
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