addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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