Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's never too late to be topless.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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