I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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