I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
