I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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