Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
