Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
