HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize