PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize