This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
