She's JV to your varsity
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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