she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
