He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think i got beer on your cat.
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