Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
