I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
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