I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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