I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
