Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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