Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
