OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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