I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize