shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
