He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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