Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
