If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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