You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
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i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize