I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
